You used to feel like you were a strong team together. But over time, your relationship became more strained as well, and you both ended up feeling less connected and playful.
When you felt hurt or disrespected, you were more patient and sometimes you felt like you got over it on your own. There were so many things you loved about your partner that you let a lot of things slide and chose to be hopeful about the good aspects of the relationship. It wasn’t like you to blow people off for being imperfect. In fact, you had some good talks about your difficulties, and things often improved over time.
Yet, eventually, you began to find yourself shutting down more and more often because you didn’t want to have another argument. Time and again, you held in more anger in order to prevent another blowout or silent treatment. But the suppressed feelings would eventually explode into another argument.
Sometimes in those arguments you ended up getting frustrations off your chests and that helped you both make important changes. And other times they made you feel worse. You felt more misunderstood, judged, even controlled. Now the pattern of holding in, acting out, and exploding in anger makes you question if there’s any real chance of having true understanding and easy communication together.
Now here you both are, each afraid you’re never going to feel that passion for each other again, never going to feel that playful connection, and won’t be really happy together.
A lot of the time you feel defeated and you’re not sure if there’s hope for you two. Sometimes it seems like you’ll never get your needs met in your relationship. You’re exhausted from walking on eggshells, feeling misunderstood, the finger-pointing, and the score-keeping. You’re married to a wonderful person and have every reason to be happy together, and yet somehow things have deteriorated into something you don’t even recognize anymore.
Of course, you knew that your relationship wouldn’t be perfect. And every couple goes through difficult times as well as amazing ones, and your partnership is no exception. But you didn’t expect that you would be questioning whether you’ll ever be happy in it, or whether it’s even sustainable. What you didn’t expect was that you would feel so alone. You never predicted you’d feel so disconnected and that you’d deal with it in ways you’re so not proud of. And you had no idea that these issues would keep you from having the sexy, intimate connection you’ve always wanted to have together.
Couples Therapy is intended to bring you and your partner together to help you get to the bottom of your disconnections so that you can reignite your love and partnership. Together, we will get clear on what’s happening and what you’re wanting for your relationship. The three of us will meet weekly for 60, 75, or 90 minute sessions, giving you consistent momentum toward the connected and loving relationship you both deserve.
WEEK ONE: Intake
During this initial session, we define the counseling relationship and discuss the details of informed consent and confidentiality. I gather information about each of you, your family members, and your biological, psychological, and social histories and how they are impacting your current relationship. We will discuss the changes you want to make in your relationship, and the steps we will take together to reach them. We will all have a basic understanding of what’s happening in your relationship and you’ll walk away with some tips to begin using immediately.
WEEK TWO and Beyond: Couples Therapy/Counseling
Together, in each subsequent session, I will use couples psychotherapy models to address your recurring patterns and challenges in your relationship, what you have worked on since the previous meeting, and we’ll decide what is most important to work on next. This typically includes Gestalt Couples Therapy and Differentiation-Based Couples Therapy, self-soothing methods, assertive communication skills and other needed tools to treat your unique struggles.
As your therapist, I keep in mind your overall goals for your relationship and make sure that what we’re working on will lead us toward those goals. As an active therapist and listener, I will be your guide in working through any rough spots in your relationship as we continue moving toward the loving connection you want to create together.
CLOSING: 1-2 Final Sessions
In our final sessions, we will review your goals to ensure you are satisfied with your couples therapy experience and that our work together has met your expectations. We will also outline a plan going forward so that you are able to retain what we have worked on together and implement all you have learned in therapy.
Couples therapy from WebPsych is best for high-achieving and over-achieving people and their partners, who are struggling with disconnection and discord in their relationships. It will help you to get to the bottom of your conflicts and create a life together with more authenticity, passion and deep connection.
You will benefit from couples therapy if:
* There are times you might not be ready for couples therapy with WebPsych. These situations include, but are not limited to, severe mental illnesses and traumas that require inpatient treatment or current substance abuse. If you are currently experiencing any of these, I will provide you with referrals so that you receive appropriate care. If there is current domestic violence, I recommend reaching me about individual therapy at this time.
It is possible to redesign your relationship with your partner from the inside-out. You will be able to develop the ability to safely deal with the challenges you struggle with together. You will also see that you can stay calm even when having differences and can learn to use each difficult communication to become a more confident, connected partner. Feeling authentically close, passionate, and fun may feel far off, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start taking the necessary steps to get your relationship moving in that direction now.
You will learn to know and understand each other on a new level. You’ll be able to make changes that you can both celebrate, encouraging further change and growth. Ultimately, you’ll find a way to move past your hurt and resentment and start feeling the loving connection you always wanted with your partner.
To schedule an appointment for couples therapy, call me at (310) 776-2667 or schedule here today.